Jane's Moment of Power/Strength

So today we went to Montpellier and La Grande Motte and I was pretty depressed because Aurore spent the entire day with Justine and hardly talked to me and it was one of those third wheel moments (to top it off Aurore was in a bad mood) and for those of you who know me really well there's nothing I hate more than being a third wheel. So, I came home rather not-cheery and after having a nice dinner and spending most of the evening doing homework and talking with Sylvie and Philippe I went into my room and was feeling a little low and not so looking forward to anything else and I was tempted to cry but I'm saving that for special occasions.
Standing with my back to the door I looked at the mess that had become my bed since coming home and here's what was on it (I cleaned up!!)

• Shoelaces (nice, stylish ones 'says Justine' to replace my craptastic ones that Justine says she wants)
• Two nice, small Provencal bowls for ma mère
• My purse
• Postcards
• Homework

And all of this struck me as belonging to someone is busy but has time and has people who she loves and who love her and who has someone who's always there for her. (I bet you are know thinking why did I even bother reading this blog today) And what I realized was that I had lots of stuff to occupy me until the week was over and school started (huge rugby game on saturday with thousands of family members coming, lots of homework, the chickens, the swing with my iPod, letters home, my journal, relacing my converse and playing thousands upon thousands of games of rummy with Margot (who talks and talks and talks all for the sake of talking) and that once school does start there will be other people, there will be Canadians and it will be busy and full and I won't feel as left out when Aurore is with her friends because I'll have my friends and I won't being hanging around as the third wheel. So, looking in the mirror (gosh I'm incredibly self centered) I planned out tomorrow morning and then kind of smiled and I feel incredible now!! Yaay mirrors!!! And more importantly I feel like I can do this and not just have-assed (sorry dad) but all the way, completely and utterly, and that I can enjoy it and not say yes it's hard and Aurore barely talks to me (exageration by the way) etc. etc. but rather say yes it's hard but I am capable and enjoying it and the only thinging that makes me sad is missing home but I'm not letting that bring me down because I know that when I come back you'll all have missed me so much that it will be good (reeeeaaaally self centered now jane!!) and the idea that I can do this is ultimately my moment of strength and power and........to top it all off, after sleeping like crap for two weeks now I sleft 10 hours (8 straight) and could've gone more if we hadn't have had to leave (knock on wood) and it feels better, everything feels better.

So, you really didn't have to read this if you did because it was more about me expressing how I feel and this moment so that I don't ever forget it than it was about everyone reading and going what the heck is Jane writing about? We thought this was about France!!!

Life gets/is getting better!!! (knock on wood again please!!)

ps - by the way I will write about Montpellier and all that tomorrow, even though there's not much to tell, and my blog will go back to normal.

♥(I love you all insane amounts!!!!) Jane